A New Normal
After fourteen years of having chronic pain, it becomes a different kind of normal. My normal is much different than the average twenty-one year old girl. For a very long time, I was not OK with this thought. I was constantly seeking 'normal.'
Lucky for me, I realized that my normal is normal. A typical day for me is staying up really late (2-3am) and falling asleep until the afternoon and slowly waking up by laying in bed for another hour and eventually making everything happen in my day. It's not exactly ideal for many people, but it works for me. A typical night for me is staying up passed everyone else and tossing and turning for a while until I finally fall asleep.
The hardest part of having my own sense of normal is knowing that I will have to explain to others that I don't need pity eyes for what I go through. Sometimes my nights suck and sometimes I actually sleep. Sometimes I don't do anything all day and some days I push my self really hard.
I think that is what I don't like most about having something chronic because people who aren't use to it question everything or try to help with advice I can promise I've heard before. I will smile and say thank you for the input because I know people are just trying to help. I know people are trying to make life better for me. But I don't need it.
It's hard to stay kind when I get unwanted advice.
I am thankful that people care enough to tell me things and I don't want to come off like I'm just using this post to rant about people who drive me nuts (I could easily do this). But, my normal is going to be strange to someone else.
I find that talking to others who have similar issues or just health problems in general tend to help me the most than I ever expected.
I like being able to complain and not get pity face* or feel like I'm just annoying people. I just want understanding when I do this.
Something I have noticed though with my friends who do struggle with chronic health problems is that many of us want understanding and to feel normal. This is a feeling I think we can't shake because if you haven't had these issues your whole life, you do know what you're missing which isn't bad. But, it does make you feel a little off from those of you around you.
I feel like this will be something we all struggle with even if it's just anxiety or depression instead of chronic pain! But, luckily, anxiety/depression/mental health issues have become a little less taboo and they are actually becoming accepted to discuss. So, maybe this will happen more.
Thanks for reading!
More posts to come soon
-Leah
Lucky for me, I realized that my normal is normal. A typical day for me is staying up really late (2-3am) and falling asleep until the afternoon and slowly waking up by laying in bed for another hour and eventually making everything happen in my day. It's not exactly ideal for many people, but it works for me. A typical night for me is staying up passed everyone else and tossing and turning for a while until I finally fall asleep.
The hardest part of having my own sense of normal is knowing that I will have to explain to others that I don't need pity eyes for what I go through. Sometimes my nights suck and sometimes I actually sleep. Sometimes I don't do anything all day and some days I push my self really hard.
I think that is what I don't like most about having something chronic because people who aren't use to it question everything or try to help with advice I can promise I've heard before. I will smile and say thank you for the input because I know people are just trying to help. I know people are trying to make life better for me. But I don't need it.
It's hard to stay kind when I get unwanted advice.
I am thankful that people care enough to tell me things and I don't want to come off like I'm just using this post to rant about people who drive me nuts (I could easily do this). But, my normal is going to be strange to someone else.
I find that talking to others who have similar issues or just health problems in general tend to help me the most than I ever expected.
I like being able to complain and not get pity face* or feel like I'm just annoying people. I just want understanding when I do this.
Something I have noticed though with my friends who do struggle with chronic health problems is that many of us want understanding and to feel normal. This is a feeling I think we can't shake because if you haven't had these issues your whole life, you do know what you're missing which isn't bad. But, it does make you feel a little off from those of you around you.
I feel like this will be something we all struggle with even if it's just anxiety or depression instead of chronic pain! But, luckily, anxiety/depression/mental health issues have become a little less taboo and they are actually becoming accepted to discuss. So, maybe this will happen more.
Thanks for reading!
More posts to come soon
-Leah
*pity face: when a person who tries to understand but is just making this sad face at you trying to sympathize but is actually making you feel worse when they don't mean to
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