fight like a girl

During the summer, my constant state of tired can no longer be hidden as well as I would like. In the summer, people find it weird to stay in bed instead of run around outside in the heat...which sounds like my personal hell. As much as I love things that go with summer (smoothies, lemonade, shorts, flip flops, the pool, etc) I loathe the heat purely because I can't cool down enough with my long locks pinned to my head and my poodle hair becoming more obvious. I'd much rather snuggle my lovely pillows until the sun goes down and feel my burst of energy late in the evening. As many who know me well and many who are learning to know me, I wake up at night. Always have. In the summer time, I have noticed my body craves more sleep than any other time of year. I couldn't tell you why because it's not something I've actually sat down and processed. I just know that I feel best in Fall and Winter. Now, recently, I have finally been allergy tested and the pollen peaks

After fourteen years of having chronic pain, it becomes a different kind of normal. My normal is much different than the average twenty-one year old girl. For a very long time, I was not OK with this thought. I was constantly seeking 'normal.' Lucky for me, I realized that my normal is normal . A typical day for me is staying up really late (2-3am) and falling asleep until the afternoon and slowly waking up by laying in bed for another hour and eventually making everything happen in my day. It's not exactly ideal for many people, but it works for me. A typical night for me is staying up passed everyone else and tossing and turning for a while until I finally fall asleep. The hardest part of having my own sense of normal is knowing that I will have to explain to others that I don't need pity eyes for what I go through. Sometimes my nights suck and sometimes I actually sleep. Sometimes I don't do anything all day and some days I push my self really hard. I think