Constant State of Tired
During the summer, my constant state of tired can no longer be hidden as well as I would like. In the summer, people find it weird to stay in bed instead of run around outside in the heat...which sounds like my personal hell. As much as I love things that go with summer (smoothies, lemonade, shorts, flip flops, the pool, etc) I loathe the heat purely because I can't cool down enough with my long locks pinned to my head and my poodle hair becoming more obvious. I'd much rather snuggle my lovely pillows until the sun goes down and feel my burst of energy late in the evening.
As many who know me well and many who are learning to know me, I wake up at night. Always have.
In the summer time, I have noticed my body craves more sleep than any other time of year. I couldn't tell you why because it's not something I've actually sat down and processed. I just know that I feel best in Fall and Winter.
Now, recently, I have finally been allergy tested and the pollen peaks in spring/summer time. Possibly I am worse in these months just because of allergies. But, what a lame excuse that is to tell people why I don't want to get out of bed or why I don't want to hang out. "Oh, sorry, my allergies are so bad that I need to sleep for 12 hours and then lay in bed for the rest of the day."
I have noticed myself canceling plans and ignoring phone calls more often than I should when it comes to doing things if it's before a certain time of day. If it's before noon, you bet I'm gonna say no to seeing you. Why? I'll give you a little bit of how my thought process goes:
If I have to be there at noon then I have to set my alarm for ten, ten thirty, eleven, eleven fifteen and every five minutes until I have to call and say I'm running late. If I say I'm running late because I can't get out of bed, that sounds bad and I'll feel bad so I have to lie and say that I just simply can't go. Or, I can tell them I missed my alarm. Which is only sometimes true because I hear my alarm most of the time but I just can't physically get myself out of bed to put on clothes and look decent to the world when that alarm goes off. So, I'll lay there and stare at my alarm and hope to god time slows down enough for my body to get it's act together.
So, I usually just don't make plans before noon. I just can't do it.
Someone I know use to ask how I was doing every time we talked, my automatic reply is usually "tired." He began saying that was my normal, constant state. I laughed.
But it's actually really true. I don't know a time where I have never not been tired physically. I know that I could lay down anytime instead of going out and doing something. I prefer sitting over standing. I know I'd much rather take laying down over any option.
As much as I wish I was not tired, it's all I know.
People say "drink coffee!"
I laugh in their faces because coffee does not help me. I get sleepy from coffee. I get anxious from energy drinks. So, the constant state of tired is just what type of tired I am.
Did you know that there are different types of tired?
There's in need of sleep tired, mentally tired, physically tired, physically drained tired, emotionally drained tired, exhausted tired, can't keep my eyes open tired, loopy tired, angry tired, so tired but can't sleep tired and my most common: brain dead tired.
The remedies for all of these types of tired are not sleeping. Sometimes, they can be fixed with a simple snuggle of a dog and a nice conversation with a friend. But, other times it can be fixed with sleep or a really relaxing night/day in.
I feel that my biggest issue is actually my fatigue purely because it's really hard for people to understand. "You slept all day! How can you still be tired?"
I can usually give you a great answer to this question but, I actually don't know the answer because I can't figure it out sometimes. Sometimes if I only get a few hours of sleep I feel the most energy for a few hours and then I crash, hard.
As a kid and a teenager it was hard to keep up with so many people and so many things when I could barely get the right amount of sleep, do homework and have a social life. I know that there are plenty of memes around that show this exact dilemma. But, my brain fails if I don't have enough sleep. I get cranky and my pain is even more obvious if I don't sleep right. On top of all of this, I have insomnia which you would think wouldn't be a problem with the constant state of sleepiness I have. But, I can't find a way to fall asleep even when I want to sleep. It takes me a good hour to actually fall asleep and if something wakes me up, usually, I can not fall back asleep. Unless it's my alarm clock, that I can fall back asleep to.
People have brought to my attention as to how to fix my issues. "Just have good sleep hygiene!" "Drink some sleepy time tea!" "I had that problem and my doctor gave me some medicine to help, try that!"
This brings me to a whole other talk about how I get this advice and I don't know how not to sound rude when I say "Oh! Why didn't I think of that! Of course it might help!" But instead, I smile and I nod and then I explain how I've tried all those things and more and it just doesn't work so I just listen to my body the best of my ability.
I have always wanted to be the person to lay down and fall asleep and then wake up when everyone else does and be a jolly person right when I wake up.
I am not any of those things.
But, I think I would not be me if I did get normal sleep. I think I would be a whole other person if I didn't have this constant state.
However, a real problem I have noticed as I've gotten older and been around people who don't know me as well. I have issues explaining to people in a short way about why I sleep so much, why I am the way I am. It takes a special kind of conversation to have.
I think that is why this blog is so helpful to me.
That's all for now. Thanks for reading!
-Leah
As many who know me well and many who are learning to know me, I wake up at night. Always have.
In the summer time, I have noticed my body craves more sleep than any other time of year. I couldn't tell you why because it's not something I've actually sat down and processed. I just know that I feel best in Fall and Winter.
Now, recently, I have finally been allergy tested and the pollen peaks in spring/summer time. Possibly I am worse in these months just because of allergies. But, what a lame excuse that is to tell people why I don't want to get out of bed or why I don't want to hang out. "Oh, sorry, my allergies are so bad that I need to sleep for 12 hours and then lay in bed for the rest of the day."
I have noticed myself canceling plans and ignoring phone calls more often than I should when it comes to doing things if it's before a certain time of day. If it's before noon, you bet I'm gonna say no to seeing you. Why? I'll give you a little bit of how my thought process goes:
If I have to be there at noon then I have to set my alarm for ten, ten thirty, eleven, eleven fifteen and every five minutes until I have to call and say I'm running late. If I say I'm running late because I can't get out of bed, that sounds bad and I'll feel bad so I have to lie and say that I just simply can't go. Or, I can tell them I missed my alarm. Which is only sometimes true because I hear my alarm most of the time but I just can't physically get myself out of bed to put on clothes and look decent to the world when that alarm goes off. So, I'll lay there and stare at my alarm and hope to god time slows down enough for my body to get it's act together.
So, I usually just don't make plans before noon. I just can't do it.
Someone I know use to ask how I was doing every time we talked, my automatic reply is usually "tired." He began saying that was my normal, constant state. I laughed.
But it's actually really true. I don't know a time where I have never not been tired physically. I know that I could lay down anytime instead of going out and doing something. I prefer sitting over standing. I know I'd much rather take laying down over any option.
As much as I wish I was not tired, it's all I know.
People say "drink coffee!"
I laugh in their faces because coffee does not help me. I get sleepy from coffee. I get anxious from energy drinks. So, the constant state of tired is just what type of tired I am.
Did you know that there are different types of tired?
There's in need of sleep tired, mentally tired, physically tired, physically drained tired, emotionally drained tired, exhausted tired, can't keep my eyes open tired, loopy tired, angry tired, so tired but can't sleep tired and my most common: brain dead tired.
The remedies for all of these types of tired are not sleeping. Sometimes, they can be fixed with a simple snuggle of a dog and a nice conversation with a friend. But, other times it can be fixed with sleep or a really relaxing night/day in.
I feel that my biggest issue is actually my fatigue purely because it's really hard for people to understand. "You slept all day! How can you still be tired?"
I can usually give you a great answer to this question but, I actually don't know the answer because I can't figure it out sometimes. Sometimes if I only get a few hours of sleep I feel the most energy for a few hours and then I crash, hard.
As a kid and a teenager it was hard to keep up with so many people and so many things when I could barely get the right amount of sleep, do homework and have a social life. I know that there are plenty of memes around that show this exact dilemma. But, my brain fails if I don't have enough sleep. I get cranky and my pain is even more obvious if I don't sleep right. On top of all of this, I have insomnia which you would think wouldn't be a problem with the constant state of sleepiness I have. But, I can't find a way to fall asleep even when I want to sleep. It takes me a good hour to actually fall asleep and if something wakes me up, usually, I can not fall back asleep. Unless it's my alarm clock, that I can fall back asleep to.
People have brought to my attention as to how to fix my issues. "Just have good sleep hygiene!" "Drink some sleepy time tea!" "I had that problem and my doctor gave me some medicine to help, try that!"
This brings me to a whole other talk about how I get this advice and I don't know how not to sound rude when I say "Oh! Why didn't I think of that! Of course it might help!" But instead, I smile and I nod and then I explain how I've tried all those things and more and it just doesn't work so I just listen to my body the best of my ability.
I have always wanted to be the person to lay down and fall asleep and then wake up when everyone else does and be a jolly person right when I wake up.
I am not any of those things.
But, I think I would not be me if I did get normal sleep. I think I would be a whole other person if I didn't have this constant state.
However, a real problem I have noticed as I've gotten older and been around people who don't know me as well. I have issues explaining to people in a short way about why I sleep so much, why I am the way I am. It takes a special kind of conversation to have.
I think that is why this blog is so helpful to me.
That's all for now. Thanks for reading!
-Leah
Comments
Post a Comment